BY: Telyse Adams
I started driving later than most everyone else I knew.
I was 19 when I got my license and I honestly hadn’t done a lot of driving up to that point. I was driving with my Dad shortly after getting my license and I told him that I was extremely nervous about the whole thing and he asked me what I was nervous about. I told him that I felt like I was having a hard time staying in my lane and I feared I was going to veer over into other lanes. I also told him that I was concerned about staying in my lane especially while driving at night or when it was raining.
My Dad wasn’t a huge talker but when he did talk he always had something really good to share. He thought for a moment and then he said, “Just keep your eye on the white line…..just stay in your right lane and keep your eye on the white line and you’ll be fine.” He made it sound so simple….just keep my eye on the white line. My dad had spent the better part of his life as a truck driver so when it came to driving I considered him a pro but even still I wasn’t sure if that white line was going to be enough to clearly define my boundaries.
I am much older now and I found myself driving through one of the worst thunderstorms I have ever experienced a few weeks ago. The rain was beating down on the windshield while also blowing sideways. There were small balls of hail pitter-pattering against my car, my windshield wipers were going at what felt like 90 miles per hour and I was inwardly panicking. I was on the interstate, there was construction work going on so the shoulders of the road were closed off, so I couldn’t pull over. At that moment while struggling to see the car in front of me, I remembered that old fear I had about staying in my lane and I remembered what my Dad had told me and I looked over to the right and I saw the white line. I could barely see anything else but I was able to see that and it brought tears to my eyes because he was right.
I kept my eyes on that white line the whole way home and I thought about it long after the fact.
That white line.
It’s one of those things that is always there but many of us never take the time to pay any real attention to it. It gives a sense of structure and boundary to almost every road. You can veer outside of it if you desire but the effect of doing so is usually not good.
That white line got me thinking about personal limitations and what keeps one grounded during the stormy periods of their lives. In all honesty, I think as younger people we don’t set a whole lot of healthy limitations for ourselves so as a result we often find ourselves spinning out of control— be that mentally, emotionally, or physically.
We live in a world that applauds an over achievement, hustling 24/7, go hard, no sleep attitude. In that type of environment we often feel like we have to do EVERYTHING. If an opportunity comes up, we HAVE to take it, if someone calls or texts us, we HAVE to respond immediately for fear that they may think something negative about us.It is no wonder then that there are so many younger people especially women who are just utterly overwhelmed. It is either we never created a white line for ourselves or we just allowed the one that was there to get faded.
Every few years or so, cities and counties will spend money on repainting faded lines on the roads and every time a new road is constructed new lines must be painted in order to create boundaries. It can be a long, tedious process depending on the length of the road but it must be done otherwise it could produce dire consequences.
Likewise, when it comes to the different roads we find ourselves on in life, we must take the time to draw our white lines. It takes time but the alternative is a life spent swerving and colliding with things that leave their marks on us for years to come. Sometimes we have been traveling on the same road for some time and we have to reassess the situation and repaint those lines.
How do we find out what our limitations are so as to keep us from burnout but at the same time not hinder our journey? It starts with an honest self-assessment of where we are right now. How do we feel…physically, emotionally, spiritually right now in this moment? How do we want to feel? What do we absolutely have to accomplish each day and do any of the items on this list feed our soul? Feeding the soul is just as important as feeding ourselves physically.
Emotional and spiritual famine can cause a person to deteriorate mentally and that stress often presentsitself in physical health issues. Creating that white line is good for our health!
After taking that honest self-assessment we will have a better idea of how we feel and now we will be in a better position to create a plan for creating that feeling everyday. Once we figure out how we would like to feel, we can then compare that with the list of things we must absolutely accomplish and subtract (as best we can) any items that don’t bring us to the goal of how we want to feel.
Oftentimes we feel like everything we do must be done, but that’s not always the case. Let’s say that you have always enjoyed drawing but you haven’t drawn a thing in years. You feel like you don’t have the time to do this because there are just too many demands already on your time. What if you decided to cut out an hour of T.V. a couple of nights a week so that you could draw. You enjoy watching T.V. but if that is not what feeds your soul and makes your spirit sing then take it off the list. Draw a white line there…..no T.V. for 3 nights every week. Limitations should not be lines drawn after there has been a collision but rather they should be things that are set in place so as to avoid a collision.
We honor our limitations by creating and maintaining our white lines. By working within the limits of what benefits us spiritually, physically, and mentally, we are able to truly live the life we want to live and accomplish the amazing dreams we have within us.